One of the challenges I am finding daily is controlling the negative thoughts. Telling myself that these things I think sometimes are not helpful and pitiful. Exercising control over them. This is so much easier when everything is going my way. When all the colors of the rainbow are reflected in the prisms of the home and dance on the walls. When life is beautiful and our family whole.
Nights that sleep is hard to find are another story. I can’t believe I actually miss someone’s laundry, but I do.
Some days I think of the time left until homecoming and get down. And that is okay.
What to do with the days and hours between where I am and where I want to be? Reunited as a family, healthy and whole.
Pray. Lots and lots of prayer carries me through those nights of self-pity. The days I am carried by a devotion to live each day with purpose. Not letting them slip by without consideration for what I am trading for today.
It would be a shame to have someone I love so much sacrifice so many of his days with his family and not live them well. Honoring his service to our country by growing in faith and function are my choice. Even here alone on this hill with little rain and a hard wind this seed can poke through the soil as a new person. That new life found by the inspiration of watching him toil. Giving thanks for all that he is doing by simply “blooming”. Everyday pushing through the soil further.
So that when he returns he doesn’t find a wilted mess but something beautiful made better by our time apart. Not worse for the wear but more wonderful because of the experience.
Fellow military wives, or anyone facing heartache, breathe in and out and just grow where you are today. God knows it is probably not where you want to grow or where you flower best naturally but meet the challenge and show what strength lives in you. Trust that God has brought you here to show you how to get through. Maybe to show you to help other get through. When the days get too hard and you feel down shake off the dirt and just bloom.
A few short weeks from delivery of our second little one and my excitement is finally rising. I have been excited but there is something about having child number two that puts family in perspective. My family. No longer are we a small group floating along we will be an even number. As many dependents as adults will reside in this home. It is sobering.
I can’t recall how many days out of the week my twenty something self feels like an adult, a functioning adult, but today is one. I look around at the home I reside in and am overwhelmed with the journey here. So many memories floating back. And it is good. Life is good. God is good.
The early years
The once fun man cave has been turned into a nursery complete with diaper genie. That will send you a wake up alone. Only an adults house has a diaper genie. Only a responsible home keeper thinks of diaper disposal. Where have the days gone?
And with the passing of more time we are closer to separation once again. Duty calls. I am so grateful to have an uplifting partner that knows the power of his words. Everyday a new affirmation of our life together. A new piece of love to keep me plowing on, down this unknown road. He is beautiful in that way.
I see friends struggle with the coming time apart. Spouses that have given their fair share of strength to the role of military wife shaken at the promise of another time apart. I have no words for them only faith. Faith that is growing with every dark thought swept aside and every reassuring word. In all things He is there. In all things He remains faithful.
Sears Heros at Home is open for registration for military members today. This is a wonderful program that my husband and I were blessed by one year. If you are active duty head over to the link provided. Open to the first 20,000.
The rain is fiercely falling against the house right now. I love when it rains. It reminds me of a childhood in the country and us sitting in front of a big picture window watching the lightning dance in the wide open fields.
Too often the beauty of its force is overlooked for the inconvenience of its power. Tonight with nowhere to go and no where we must be the familiar sound is comforting. Something so destructive also brings life and joy and newness. It is with this outlook I hope to take on every new challenge of this year. Seeing past the inconvenience or destruction. Understanding, never fully but maybe better, God’s will. To lean on him in times of uncertainty and darkness. When the sun seems lost and a happy yesterday is very far off I pray to find solace and soothing in His ever-present word.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
In this fly by the seat of our pants society where everything was created for immediate use the virtue of patience is not easily found. It seems my toddler, the same who enjoys his Cheerios more when spread on the floor, has mastered the art of teaching. In his young *year* I have learned more about myself as a person than I could have without his guidance. Delayed gratification takes on a whole new meaning. Waiting for what I perceive to want is not the toil I once believed it to be.
1. Take it one step at a time. Literally. My son has mastered the art of climbing and as with any new-found skill you want to do it constantly. He takes to the stairs hourly with me following behind. He giggles and coos as he climbs each step stopping occasionally to inspect a hair or mislaid cheerio intently. He doesn’t rush to his destination, the top, but saviors the climb. He enjoys the journey. I find climbing stairs laborious but necessary. Through his eyes I stop to enjoy each step. If that is not an intense baby Yoda metaphor in the making I am not sure what is!
2. One truck is enough. We have all heard of hoarders. My toddler would be perfect hoarding therapy. I have watched him play with one truck or block for upwards of an hour. He studies it. Bangs it on every surface to hear each noise it produces. Chews on it endlessly. I could be taken an amazing lesson of minimalism from enjoying each item as I receive them, fully. The greater lesson that stands out to me is once again his patience. He does not delve into the box for more toys after eying one. He enjoys fully what he has in the moment.
3. Savor every bite. As with the stairs he has another newly learned skill. His love of texture and taste are making for meal time fun. Well for him at least. I tap my foot at each poke at the eggs or manipulation of that grape. He truly enjoys what he is eating. Not as a rush to the next bite but as understanding this one. A healthy habit to enjoy indeed.
4. Count the days. He used to fit in this last week. I remember when he required a paci to sleep. I used to swaddle him it that. All phrases I utter repeatedly to remind myself when patience slips. This too shall pass so savor the moments.
It is here! The reason for floppy hats, indulgent ice cream desserts and Fourth of July themed foods. The family and I decided to venture out and find some great deals.
First is was an Amish Farm Stand with the most beautiful tomatoes I have seen. The hubs does not enjoy tomatoes, eep I know, so I bought an amazing onion. It must be the growing baby in me but I wholly, maybe a little too much, enjoyed the smell of this onion. I am planning on creating some rings Sunday night to go with burgers on the grill. This baby appreciates quality!
We also found an abundance of pies and breads that were calling to me but I held back. Once the gentleman told us of watermelon coming next week I knew we’d be back! My husband picked out some honey in his unending quest to find real good honey for his tea. Over the course of our marriage I have gotten quite the giggle out of the varieties of the sugary substance that have graced our home. So far no winners…here’s hoping.
So that was our big purchase at the stand. We also stopped by Walgreens for a great deal they are currently having on select Suave hair products. They are priced a $1.00 each and if you buy 2 you get $2.00 register rewards. So I paid $2.00 and tax for the original purchase of shampoo and used my coupon to get to more free. There was a limit of one reward. I also scored free polish with a $1.00 off coupon! So goes my adventures of living in simplicity.
Since my family and I have learned/continue to learn to cut spending and limit wasteful purchasing the weekends are all that sweeter. Peace is found in the simplicity of life now instead of the excess. It also does not hurt to indulge in a snow cone once in a while…now THAT’S living!
So I know I haven’t made much of an effort to update lately and that is changing, promise. Life has been so full and busy lately that I have set my priorities in line and everything else falls by the way side. As of late I have not made myself a priority. I haven’t had time. There are new baby appointments and older baby appointments and things to cook, people to comfort, sun to soak and laughs to good to miss for me to sit and just be. But I will say now that I have just sat and relaxed…ahhhh. That is better.
Father’s Day passed without a word from One Loved American Girl! I apologize Dads. Happy belated Father’s Day. It takes an amazing person to lead a family!
This past month we have set some pretty life altering goals. God has blessed us greatly and in order to bless others we have to be great stewards of ALL our resources. After all you can not give out what you yourself do not have. To begin we decided to implement greater savings tools to help stretch the dollars further. We pray to make a greater difference in the lives of others by first creating a difference in our home. I have to admit it is not always easy walking the tight road and we sometimes fumble but the end reward will be worth it.
Our little one is growing steady and my heart bounds with all the stories I wait to read. Hopefully they will one day carry these stories around as unrelentingly as I did some years ago.
The list of things I hope to accomplish this week is long so here goes!
1. Perfect a dessert. I have no idea how I have managed to skim through life this far without having a go to up my sleeve. Leaning towards Red Velvet Cake mmmmm…
2. Have a yard sale. This is quite the underground activity I must say. I never knew!
3. Find a used book store. I very much miss such a place.
4. Start up my quilt again. It is nagging me from the hall closet. Time I answered.
5. Make hand print art with the little one for family.
Happy goal achieving this week. I hope to be busy!
So in the midst of my sleep deprived state I welcomed such great excitement into our home. We are projected to have a GIRL! I never envisioned myself a mother of a girl. Always one to veer closer to the male dominated activities and further from the female as I get older. I hope to teach our love for camping, the outdoors and pursing many a museums as we broaden our horizons together.
Life is an ever changing lesson. Just when you feel you have read all the pages there comes a pop quiz.
So now to set our sites on making this home baby girl friendly. We already live in a sea of jungle animals and building blocks. Girls like those things right?