One of the things I, conveniently, had forgotten about pregnancy was the dreadful insomnia. When My Sweets is sleeping I lay awake unable to sleep, when he is awake I can barely keep my eyes open. This too shall pass but I am just now remembering my previous pregnancy clearly. I have to say that a healthy baby is one of the greatest blessings I have received but it still brings back memories. Memories of sitting through NSTs galore and memorizing magazines on my OBs waiting room wall. I worried so much with baby number one. Do I feel the baby move as much today? Did I sleep on the wrong side last night? Did that have caffeine in it? So much worry.
After it all was said and done I remember taking in my little wrinkly peaches leg folds and yawn creases. I remember the huge relief that this baby was so healthy and here. He was and still is my baby that God has gifted me, entrusted to me. To raise and protect until the end of my days. It is these thoughts that probably have contributed to my insomnia this go around. Not thoughts of worry this time but enormous thoughts of gratitude.
This week has been exhausting and still I lay awake sometimes staring at him. Thanking God for giving me the opportunity of such a great love. Thanking God for loving me that much.
Category Archives: parenting
Things ARE Returning to Normal
The husband is back from far away ville (for now). My little ones Birthday party went off without a hitch and our family has since left. The home is turned upside down from unending commotion but we enjoyed ourselves. Now back to real life. After the unending family time with my husband I am sad to return to routine. It is always “feast or famine” when it comes to time together, just like the civilian world I am sure, though our “famines” are quite a bit different.
This past bit we were able to hear the new little one’s heartbeat. It sounded strong! The baby also sounded very active. I could hear him or her swishing about as we listened. Such a blessing to have been able to hear the little one growing inside me. I feel renewed even through this worsening morning sickness and what I fear may be strep throat. Eep!
But onto the week ahead and my lingering goals!
I have decided after taking stock of my pantry that I could be making so many of the things I normally purchase. My goals this week will reflect a new sense of wanted domestic goodness.
Home Goals:
1. Go through pantry and outline things to make by hand.
2. Spend 2 hours “freezer cooking”. My new devotion to weekly meal preparation!
3. Menu plan for the weeks ahead.
4. Have a baking session to replace at least 3 pantry staples with from scratch options.
Family Goals:
5. Start on my husband’s requested blanket
6. Mail Grandparents Birthday pictures
Mothering Goals:
7. Attempt to wean, again.
8. Find a Mommy and Me class locally.
Self Goals:
9. Read “Life on Planet Mom”
10. Make an Ultra Sound appointment!
One Week of Pictures
Day 6 2.0. Never enough kisses.
It Is Approaching
That dreaded date for many Moms. Or maybe just me. I am not excited for the month come when I say good bye to my cuddly little first born baby and enter into toddlerdom. Don’t get me wrong I am grateful beyond words to have a healthy, happy and joyous little one growing in leaps and bounds everyday. It is not that. It is that with everyday that pass he slides farther from my ability to relate to him and closer into the “maleverse”. Only approaching one year and he actually giggles at his own burps? Oh how I know what the years ahead of me hold. Challenges in relating to his quirky maleness and struggles teaching him how to princely admire the fairer sex.
My husband eagerly bids his time. The days of a lifelong playmate approach. He already smiles coolly as we pass the sporting section at Target. With each shortened nursing session and every wiggle to climb from my lap I am reminded how quickly it goes.
BABIES DON’T KEEP
Mother, oh Mother,
come shake out your cloth,
empty the dustpan,
poison the moth,
hang out the washing
and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house
is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery,
blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little
Boy Blue (lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done
and there’s nothing for stew
and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing
will wait till tomorrow,
for Children grow up,
as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs.
Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep……
~Author Unknown ~
Childhood…
Becoming…
My hope for my child is to have a Mother that is honest about her walk. A Mother that will do their Father justice when they are apart in her teachings. A Mother that speaks in the hard times in order to show her child how to get through them, together. A Mother that admits life is difficult but that she will always be there for them. Most importantly I hope for them to always know a home of unconditional love and peace…
Enter Motherhood
My son is almost a year old now and today was the first time I felt like a Mom. Don’t get me wrong, I love Motherhood. It is the antithesis of where I believed I would end up. But it fits. Just fits my being.
I love being a Mom. I love the late night nursing sessions, the creative play and learning-oh so much-about myself. Even through all these transitions I have never felt Mom-ish. Well, not completely.
Today involved a Doctor’s appointment and trip to the pharmacy. That is it. Not a big deal right? Wrong! When I arrived home I collapsed in bed for a power nap out of sheer exhaustion.
My doctor’s appointment was nothing amazing. I spent it deflecting squeals and screams of delight while attempting to nurse and answering personal medical questions from the beginning of time. No big deal. You learn to juggle eventually. It was the trip to the pharmacy that awoke my epiphany. Apparently everyone on this base has a medicine need and we waited for two hours to reach the counter. (Luckily they had Giada on the big screen or I would have counted tiles to avoid stares) My Sweets decided he would pick today to transition into squirmy screech monkey that did not want the stroller or Momma’s grasp. He also preferred to eat his milk as if I was a two-way drive through.There I sat for two hours wrestling my baby to keep him from crawling on the dirty floor. Nursing with very little discretion by the end out of sheer exhaustion and apologizing profusely to everyone seated around me that My Sweets tried to take down.
After receiving my medication and piling us back into the car I caught a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror. Flush and glistening from the ordeal and could not help but laugh. This is my life now? But I still rock hot shades and killer boots? My little one fell asleep on the ride home and I carried him inside to bed. He rested his little head on my shoulder and gave the sweetest sigh. Yep, this is my life and I am so blessed to have ended up here.
What is the exact moment you realized you were officially a parent? Please share you stories in the comments!
Amazing Lessons from Motherhood I Wish I Knew Before
With my sweet little one quickly approaching toddler hood I am taken aback at the things that have changed in this past year. So many lessons learned I thought I would share.
1. Moms don’t sleep. Well at least not often. Just when you think you have a routine down a new tooth pops up, the family journeys on a vacation, someone gets sick or anyone of a million little trivial things of day to day life venture on the schedule. Mom is the one that has to keep everyone focused and everyone sane while the dark circles grow to orbit worthy proportions.
2. Mothering can be a competitive sport. There is this little thing I like to call Mom-petion. It is what Moms do. Period. Doesn’t matter the age, culture or location there is always that one Mom (or group of Moms) trying to judge and best their counterparts.
3. Don’t judge! Until your child has personally embarrassed you in a restaurant (airplane, store, etc) you have no idea the day(s) that Mom has endured to bring her to the place of pajamas in public and a sullen look. You may be a more together Mom but you are not a better Mom when it comes to her kids.
4. Showers are vacations. Hear that single ladies? Enjoy your bubble baths while you can. Last time I filled the tub it was for a chubby little man who has an odd affection for bubbles.
5. Your child will be the sweetest eye candy. It is normal. There are times still that I will forgo relaxing during the baby’s nap time to look at his baby pictures. Such as right now – I haven’t slept more than five hours consecutively in the last two months and I still climb in bed and instead of sleeping become enthralled with the image on the monitor screen.
6. Nothing tests a relationship more than a child. The dynamic of my marriage has completely changed. You will hear many people tell you a baby will bring you closer to each other and make you love each other more. Almost sounds like a romantic glamorization. While these statements are absolutely true IF you can make it that long. What you do not hear people talk about is the constant interruptions that will test your marriage to the brink. Learning to put each other first while caring for an infant may be one of the hardest challenges you see.
7. Nothing tests any relationship you have more than a child. My friendships have changed as well. Be prepared some will not hang around to have late night gab feasts turn into early afternoon coffee runs and diaper rants.
8. It is worth it. Becoming a Mom-bie, losing friends, losing naps and baths it is all worth it when that chubby little hand reaches for yours while resting peacefully in your arms. Or that sweet little face utters Mama for the first time recognizing what they actually mean themselves. It is so worth it and all one big lesson.
