This morning I am burnt out. Wanting nothing more than to lie in bed with a great book to renew my spirit I survey my to do list. Pharmacy, grocery store, doctor’s office and a list of phone calls to be made. Rest for another day. Yesterday actually was the day of rest for Moms (if they are so lucky). After a day of the rich spoils I am reminded of just why we celebrate Mothers in the first place. They do everything! To their own physical (and mental?) detriment.
I see now why when the days are rough I call Mom still to this day. The need for a Mothering love never erodes, only evolves. So to all the Mothers who paved the way of unconditional love in the years before me, Thank you! It is because of those women, like my Mother, that worked so feverishly to care for their brood that I received such recognition in the day to day and on Mother’s Day. Thank you Mom for showing me the way.
One of the things I, conveniently, had forgotten about pregnancy was the dreadful insomnia. When My Sweets is sleeping I lay awake unable to sleep, when he is awake I can barely keep my eyes open. This too shall pass but I am just now remembering my previous pregnancy clearly. I have to say that a healthy baby is one of the greatest blessings I have received but it still brings back memories. Memories of sitting through NSTs galore and memorizing magazines on my OBs waiting room wall. I worried so much with baby number one. Do I feel the baby move as much today? Did I sleep on the wrong side last night? Did that have caffeine in it? So much worry.
After it all was said and done I remember taking in my little wrinkly peaches leg folds and yawn creases. I remember the huge relief that this baby was so healthy and here. He was and still is my baby that God has gifted me, entrusted to me. To raise and protect until the end of my days. It is these thoughts that probably have contributed to my insomnia this go around. Not thoughts of worry this time but enormous thoughts of gratitude.
This week has been exhausting and still I lay awake sometimes staring at him. Thanking God for giving me the opportunity of such a great love. Thanking God for loving me that much.